Dance! Dance! Dance! a mashup

The elephant in the room

The importance of wearing bicycle helmets

Jimmy Stewart tells a joke

Why ‘The Far Side’ was so funny

Gary Larson’s biography is on his web site.

Welcome to the modern world

Am I getting old?

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds.  People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers.  Now they drink like their fathers.

I didn’t make it to the gym today.  That makes five years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”.  I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time.

When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment.  Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”

I don’t have gray hair; I have “wisdom highlights”!  I’m just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators.  We haven’t met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself.  Sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

Actually I’m not complaining because I am a Senager (Senior teenager).  I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.  I don’t have to go to school or work.  I get an allowance every month.  I have my own pad.  I don’t have a curfew.  I have a driver’s license and my own car.  And I don’t have acne.  Life is great.

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.

Hat tip to an old college classmate.

On growing older, but not necessarily wiser

Time for something lighter.  These two items were sent to me some time back by my old friend Larry Lack.

GOD’S PLAN FOR AGING

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking.

And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach and stretch.

And God looked down and saw that it was good

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise.

God looked down and saw that it was good.

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it’s God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.

Don’t worry about the snow

Dogs with a sense of sin

Some really awful (that is, good) puns

Riddles of the Sphinx II: Sustained Release Riddlin’ by Scott Siskind for Astral Codex Ten

A short tale of road rage

Can you name the missing seven states?

Via XKCD. Hat tip to kottke.org.

The Lex Luthor-Jean Luc Picard-Jeff Bezos look

I’m far from the first person to have noticed the physical resemblance between Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, Star Trek’s Jean-Luc Picard and Superman’s nemesis Lex Luthor.

There are all kinds of ways to make a living

The Bedbug Whisperer of Brooklyn by Laura Entis for The Outline. Hat tip to Steve from Texas.

‘Coffin confessor’ Bill Edgar paid to gatecrash Queensland funerals and speak up for the dead by Annie Gaffney and Sallie Rafferty for ABC News.

The perils of being a cartoon character

Yes, I know COVID-19 is not really funny, but…

Grilled chicken

Hat tip to Gene Zitver.

An alternative airline safety video

Animals that look like animated cartoons

Time for something a little lighter.

These are the four finalists for the 2020 Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards.

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The effectiveness of masks

Source: xkcd: Masks

Having fun with cats

The end of war as we know it

Via Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal.

The world’s largest signature

In the late 1990s, a Texas farmer named Jimmy Luecke cleared out some grazing land, but decided to leave enough trees standing to spell out his name in giant letters.  His signature is three miles across.  Today astronauts about the Space Shuttle use the signature as a means of checking the resolution of satellite imagery.

LINK

How the World’s Largest Signature Is Used by NASA to Analyze Satellite Imagery by Spooky for Oddity Central.

XKCD’s COVID-19 risks in perspective

Source: XKCD